"Why?" is the typical question that circulates my head now and again; but there is no denying that blogging is a major internet phenomenon. I must first tell you all now; people who Twitter bug the heck out of me. Why do people insist on updating the World Wide Web with 160 characters of thought every half an hour? That is of course, if "I want a bacon sandwich." or "Grrr." even count as conscious thought processes of the human intelligence, which I have significant reason to doubt some what.
Perhaps some of these people need to feel that somebody in their life, and seemingly, even people who are not in their life at all, actually does give a damn about their everyday intentions. People actually micro-blog whilst driving, when they are supposed to be entertaining others, even at work in board meetings, or at the movies watching the latest wishy-washy vampire teenage-fucking-junk flick (fuck off Twilight and die forever). Can you believe I read one the other day announcing "Watching Eclipse. Edward is soooo fit.", thank you for letting the whole world know that you're flicking your bean in the theatre, in the dark, over an imaginary film character. We all most desperately needed to know it, and applaud the virtue you have shown in aptly describing your thoughts.
Even Facebook is beginning to get on my nerves with its convenient, and politely inquiring little charming status box; "What's on your mind" it asks me. Fuck knows where that information goes to after you press the 'post' button. Maybe somewhere in the Pentagon, sitting on the toilet with his trousers around his ankles, a CIA agent is being driven relatively insane by how many times his pager has vibrated, hummed out of his trouser pocket and then buzzed its way under the cubical door next to him because some alcohol-crazy college students have been flooding the little charming status box with information concerning their latest antics with Jager-bombs and other lethal cocktails.
Is it all THAT necessary?
You may call me a hypocrite, because evidently I am sat here and starting up the whole blog-business. However, I will explain to you all why I am writing: I was advised to. Ten months ago I was advised by a 'careers-adviser-woman' at the university which I have just finished attending, to be a professional blogger after my graduation; I and fifty or so other students, in the same room. We were given this advice because we all were studying under the Philosophy faculty of the university, "Blog" she told us to, because I assume that there is no vocation linked to our degrees other than the solicit of bullshit to other people. At the time we were told this I had written a couple of notes which I passed to my friend on the same row, one with a picture of a house in the middle of the forest surrounded by berry bushes; I figured that we could always live in the woods and eat berries after we graduate if the blogging thing doesn't work out; I mean it isn't like the blog-world is already saturated in the solicit of bullshit, right? So, ten months later I leave the university after a 20 grand loan from the government, three years of studying stupidly-difficult-and-almost-purposefully-difficult-to-read books to find myself here at 05:03 on July 12th 2010, beginning my new and exciting and sure to be illustrious career as a blogger.
Joyness.
Here, have a picture of Hover Cat beaming some poor guy up into its arsehole, to celebrate the start of Seasoned with A Hint of Madness!
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