Break-through at CERN as scientists shed light on age old question...

There was a break-through at the CERN this week after an unregulated experiment at the Large Hadron Collider shed some new facts about our so called perceived universe; as the new discovery has created the proverbial whirlwind of debate over the future consequences of the discovery, the scientific community still remains in a state of shock over the results of the experiment.

An unregulated experiment involving the Large Hadron Collider was performed at approx 06:00 Tuesday morning, a disgruntled scientist having been exasperated by the scientific communities obsessions with String-Theory and dark energy experiments, decided to put an uncooked chicken egg in the LHC and accelerate it to near light-speeds in attempt to discover what would happen to the eggs quantum state. The results were by no short distance, staggering to take hold of. This is a visual representation of the mathematical data provided by one of the so far unnamed detectors.

As it is clearly visible, the detector had problems with aligning the data into a coherent picture of what the scientist had thought he had launched into the 9km of accelerator spanning beneath the Swiss/French boarder. However, some scientists of a yet to be revealed university in the UK are already contending that this representation answers the age-old question of whether the egg, or the chicken came first. To quote one of the excited academics:

"We are really excited about the data we have received from the CERN laboratories, we are already formulating equations that explain that chickens are actually the quantum state of eggs when accelerated to near light-speed. This means that eggs and chickens, although they are perceived to be extraordinarily different in what human beings perceive to be reality:- and that one must come before the other, they're are actually in fact the same thing at the same time under certain quantum states." - Scientist

The discovery received much praise not just by the physics community but in the faculty of evolutionary biology, renowned champion of avian evolution, one Professor Richard Squarkins, has stated that this has come of no surprise to him and his colleagues, saying

"We have been searching for a theory that explains why chickens are in such high numbers on Earth today and we have always wanted some experimental evidence that suggests that chickens have an extraordinary and naturally evolved defence mechanism against predation. Since we had seen the data suggesting that eggs are merely one possible quantum state of a chicken, we have played with the idea that an egg may spontaneously change into its chicken-form when predators close up, then revert back to egg form to save energy. The puzzle now is how do eggs manage to spontaneously travel at near light speeds without the extreme magnetic forces needed in the human device of the LHC, but we believe the yolk has something to do with it." Prof. Richard Squarkins

The professor also showed us some predictions for the evolution of the species when the LHC is cranked up to even higher energies in the months to come. What follows is the representation of the data used from the latest computer modelling software, sponsored with funding from an institution in the US; it is nothing less than astounding.

Hopefully there will be more news from the CERN laboratories soon. We're lovin' it.